The Jerusalem sisters have a concern that I might be better suited to a more contemplative vocation. They have advised me to look into and try more contemplative communities. They also said, it was important to detach from their community, so I could spend time getting to know myself and what rhythm I would fit into. They said, that after this, if I still find that I am drawn to them, then that would be fine.
I was disappointed, when they told me this. I love this community!
There is also no way, I could lived in a cloistered community, for the rest of my life. But, after spending time in prayer and reflection. I have decided to at least consider this.
Everything I have comes from God. God has given me talents and gift that can be used for his glory. I have something to offer God, that no one else does.
I need to be open to God’s will, and not just my own, even if I am not sure where God is leading me. Faith and trust come into this, and it’s hard, really hard.
There is no one to whom I can go to. Jesus is the bridegroom of my soul. And if he’s leading me to a better place, I need to let him do so. Let him hold my hand.
I do not know what the future will bring, but, that God holds the future, and all I have is the gift of this present moment, to love him, know him, and serve him.