Fear has been a part of my life. Fear of dogs, fear of the unknown, fear of letting go, fear of failure. I wanted to be a contemplative because besides the fact that it seems romantic, I thought I would not be in the public eye all the time. I would not have to deal with being judged by the world, putting up with people who are anti-Catholic, or being stared at everywhere I go for being a religious, having every word and deed scrutinized by the world.
God knew what I was running away from, and wanted me to face my fears head on. He wanted to let me know that I would always be under His protection. I experienced this protection in a special way, sometime back.
I was scheduled to attend an interview. It was a bright day in the summer. When I got to my address, I could not find the street. I took directions from people, called the place a couple of times, walked around the place, but I still could not find the street. It was like the entire street had disappeared. I finally gave up and decided to head home.
A few days later, I was sent an e-mail. The e-mail was from the owner of the company that I had the interview with. It was an e-mail forwarded to a bunch of people. I was not supposed to be on the list, but I think it was sent out to me on accident.
The e-mail was very anti-Christian and just plain evil. It send chills through my system. Turns out this was an occult group.
I know realize that God totally protected me that day, and did not want me to attend the interview. He made the street itself disappear.
How good is our God?
It also taught me not to be afraid. However, even after this, weak humans that we are, fear was still around. It was at the life in the spirit seminar that I heard God speak to my heart and say “Let go of fear, and trust in me.”
Fear is an instrument the enemy uses to keep us from being the people God wants us to be. The late JP2 said, “Be Not Afraid”.
Psalm 91 says, “You will trample down fierce lions and poisonous snakes”
As we walk in trust, fear leaves us and faith increases in us. Faith that can move mountains.