The Calling

It began when I was in my last year of high school. I stopped going to church. I was a cradle Catholic, who really started questioning religion and faith in general. I got bored with church, because all the cool people I knew never went to church. I wanted to be like them.

Little did I know, that God was not going to let me go. I went to a Catholic school, and they took us to a chapel one day during Lent. There was a Christian music video playing. I was not paying any attention to it. Something took hold of me, I was burning all over and in a lot of pain. It was not physical pain, but a pain that was piercing my very soul. My mind was directed towards the tabernacle over and over again, and I began to cry. In an instant it was all over, without anybody else in the chapel even noticing it.

I knew this was the pain of being separated from the presence of God. I could not explain it, but knew what it stood for. My soul was crying out for God. This was in 2004.

I decided to start going to church again. I started helping out with youth ministry, but I still felt God was asking me to do more. I never knew what though.

One day at a retreat, we were being led through a prayer, and I fell asleep. I saw myself  on a journey walking through mountains, hills, jungles, and finally arrived at the end of my journey on a beach. I saw Jesus standing there and he had a box in his hands, and when he opened the box, there was a ring in it.

This is when I woke up, I did not know what to make of this. As the time progressed my desire for prayer and for God was increasing. I was also learning more about the faith at this time.

It was in 2009, that the youth ministry I was involved in: Lifeteen, went on a Youth conference to Stuebenville, Ohio. There was a sister from the Franciscan Sisters of the Renewal, that gave a talk on religious life. At the end of the talk, she said, “If you feel called to religious life, ask God for an engagement ring.”  Who knew Jesus was so romantic. For some reason I felt like she was talking to me, enough though, I thought to myself that this could not be happening.

I had so many plans for my life. I wanted to get married, have kids, have a career, own a house etc. I did not want to drop them all and give my life to God. The idea of being the Bride of Christ was starting to take a hold of me.  I still had two years of college left, so I decided to take things one step at a time.


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